| |
|
|
| 11:20am 21/02/2009 |
| |
What's the difference between telling someone something and them actually understanding it? Why can't cant you just see that I'm going to eventually leave because your pushing me away. Sometimes when I talk to you and tell you something I really believe its like it goes in one ear and out the other.
Last night you to Ecstasy and when I was telling you something that meant a lot to me, and I told you you were disappointing me, I thought you actually understood what I meant by that, but as soon as you started coming out of whatever you were in, you wanted me to re-explain everything I just told you.
I had a dream last night, about last night, and your roommate came back with people and some how they wanted us to leave and I told you we couldn't leave because we wouldn't be able to sleep and you didn't seem to understand why I didn't want leave and then somehow I ended up getting water on me from someone and I started crying and went to your roommate and I asked him why you were doing this , and why you wouldn't stand up for me. He told me that you loved me but you didn't know what to do, and that you couldn't show me. He ended up kicking everyone out, and it was like you weren't even there for me.
How can you be angry and hurt by someone who doesn't even hold the ability to understand you, and what you stand for, because its something so different from you. I don't fault you for who you are, but I can't understand why you don't see that its killing me that you keep pushing me and pushing me to be something you aren't even. Your going to push me right out of your life. You want me to understand something when you don't understand me.
Last night you told me you, see the worst in people because you see the worst in yourself, you told me you were scared of putting yourself out there, and that you wanted to be in love with me. Do you remember telling me any of that? What did I tell you? All you got from me was I was mad at you. And then you wanted me to spill my guts out to you to make you understand, How does that work? I tell you everything in my heart and you tell me nothing? thats not fair.
I don't know where to go from here.
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 06:38pm 09/01/2009 |
| |
 |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
| 06:26pm 09/01/2009 |
| |
Looking back on the past year, alot of things have changed, i've pretty much lost all the friends that i thought were important to me and the one person I thought would always be there, and i've made better friends and found someone that wants to see me happy and would do anything to make me happy.
That night, did you think abou me at all when you were in bed with her? I could go over it and over it again and again but it still makes no sense to me that you can say you love me and then fall into a bed with her. I dont understand how someone can get so drunk that not remember anything at all.
xxxxx
You were suppose to be my best friend and you think you can hide behind that you did nothing. You know you did, you cant even talk to me because you know that you fucked up. Im not like you in anyway I know when I did something wrong. You push people that actually care about you away and surround yourself with shitty people.
xxxxxxx
Your such an amazing person I love hanging out with you being around you, you make me happier then I ever thought I could be. I love how your brain works and I want to be the person you see me to be. I've never changed to prove to someone I'm worth it. I want you to feel how I feel when I'm around you. I'm falling hard and I love it. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
brnin_yr_lttrs's journal